Never Rely on People

Excerpt of a Conversation of the Merciful God with a Suffering Soul from the Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalksa (1487): 

 

Soul: One more thing, Lord. What should I do when I am ignored and rejected by people, especially by those on whom I had a right to count in times of greatest need?  

Jesus: My child, make the resolution never to rely on people. Entrust yourself completely to My will saying, “Not as I want, but according to Your will, O God, let it be done unto me.” These words, spoken from the depths of one’s heart, can raise a soul to the summit of sanctity in a short time. In such a soul I delight. Such a soul gives Me glory. Such a soul fills heaven with the fragrance of her virtue. But understand that the strength by which you bear sufferings comes from frequent Communions. So approach this fountain of mercy often, to draw with the vessel of trust whatever you need.

I'm drawing comfort from this passage in St. Faustina's Diary.  In my situation, I have felt abandoned by the medical community and some others.  In many ways, the situation is displaying my greatest fear: that I'll be in need of help, and no one will help me.

This fear used to show up mostly when traveling.  I would start to hyperventilate halfway to my destination - that point that was furthest from home/family as well and the people I was meeting.   Traveling by air was especially anxiety-provoking to me. When a friend had to back out of a trip, I talked through this fear with another friend.  She said to me, "Even when you're alone, you're not really alone."  People on a plane would help.  With her encouragement and God's grace, I did make that trip by plane alone.  And when things I feared happened, people helped me before I even asked for help. On that trip, I felt God's watchful eye in many ways.  

When I can't help myself and when others won't or can’t help me, I put my trust in God alone.