Faith

 From the lie that you have abandoned me, deliver me, O God.

One aspect of suffering that is very challenging is that we must wait to see what we believe.  And in the meantime, what is true appears false.  The Kingdom of Heaven is both now and not yet.  And we must endure until some time in the near or distant future. 

We understand Gideon in Judges 6:12-13 when the messenger of the Lord greets him saying "the Lord is with you, you mighty warrior!"

    “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our ancestors told us about when they said, ‘Did not the Lord bring us up out of Egypt?’ But now the Lord has abandoned us and given us into the hand of Midian.”

There are many names for God in the Old Testament.  Jehovah Jireh means the Lord will provide.  Jehovah Rapha - God Who Heals.  We look to God as our Defender and Protector. Not only this, but we are to look, for the most part, ONLY to God, or at least, first and foremost to Him.  In the Book of Isaiah, the Jewish people fail when they seek allies in other nations rather than in God alone.  We know not to put trust in money, ability, our work, or even other people; all of these can fail.  

But there are moments in the waiting where doubt more than creeps in-- it assaults.  In this between time, I manage disappointment.  I'm looking to the only One who can protect me to protect me. I'm looking to the one who holds the whole universe to provide for me. I'm looking to Life Himself to heal me.  I've let go of false securities that this world offers, and now, in the waiting, where faith is weak and I'm being purified, I feel insecure.  Unmet needs and poor health that span years are a stumbling block. Doubt asks, will God come through for me? When?

I started this to address the question, how can something that is true appear untrue at any given moment.  How is God the God who heals, when I'm still sick?  How can something be true, but "not yet."  I think the answer the Lord gave me is FAITH.  Hebrews 11:1 says, "Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen." 

Faith is evidence of things not seen. Similarly, Trust is to believe in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of [someone/something].  Before the proof, Faith and Trust fill the gap. 

We are time travelers, in a process of becoming.  Gideon was not yet a mighty warrior when greeted as such, but he became one.  We have seen many of God's promises fulfilled in the coming of Christ, yet we await fulfillment of others.  

So what am I to do in the meantime?  My favorite line in "Faithful Now" by Vertical Worship is this: 

    "And I will speak to my fear
     I will preach to my doubt
    That You were faithful then
    You'll be faithful now"

The spontaneous prayer in this version of King of My Heart offers an opportunity to reflect on God's nature and what that means for our doubts.  

And another song just started playing for me on Youtube that I need to add:

Faith in God has power; it saves and can be the means of our restoration.